We interrupt your usual schedule to bring you a very small pig descending a set of stairs.
HE JUMPS RIGHT INTO IT AND MAKES LITTEL SOUNDS N0
The whole thing is heaven sent oh my god perfect.
If I ever get married, our vows better be based on the Team Rocket motto.
I vow to protect you from devastation.
To unite our privates and feel sensation.
To pronounce you as my one true love,
and see the glitter of your eyes in the stars above.
Team Rocket, married, committed for life!
Pronounce us now, as husband and wife!
This is the best thing I’ve seen on Tumblr today.
The media loves a catfight.
Now that the highly anticipated film adaptation of Divergent — a Hunger Games-esque dystopian tale — is officially in theaters, comparisons between its star Shailene Woodley and Jennifer Lawrence are rolling in. According to Joanna Robinson of Vanity Fair’s “The Next Jennifer Lawrence?,” “If Woodley’s other adaptation of a popular Y.A. book, The Fault in Our Stars, doesn’t do well then J. Law can breath a sigh of relief that her supremacy is safe. For now.”
Apparently being an “It Girl” is just like being the Lord of the Rings: There can only be one.
Again and again, the media pits successful women against each other, making one’s rise contingent on another’s fall. And this is bullshit. Even when recently goaded to dish about her supposed rival, Woodley wouldn’t bite
A quote from the Toronto Star:
“I found so offensive and incredibly horrendous that the editor allowed something to be published that should have never been written, which … says ‘is Shailene Woodley the next Jennifer Lawrence? Is Divergent going to be the next Hunger Games? Or is Divergent not going to do well, is she going to be the next Lily Collins?’” said Woodley, adding she planned to write to the author and tell her: “That is so f—-ed up.”
“I’m going to write her an email and say that is not OK. How can we as females and citizens of this Earth expect men to start respecting us when … we can’t find sisterhood and can’t find support for one another?
“Putting another woman down and raising another woman up,” Woodley says, “it is disgusting on every level.”
once i had an american person on a forum tell me that every time they quoted my reply they were going to ‘fix’ my spelling because ‘english spellings are wrong’ and i think about it every now and again and laugh so hard
Rat: Motion to the Motionless
Pig: Heat-Beam Eyes
Sheep: Astral Projection
Rabbit: Super Speed
Tiger: Separation of Yin and Yang/Balance
Ox: Super Strength
“ONE MORE THING!”
- falling asleep on someone’s chest
- wrapping your arms around each other
- synching heartbeats and breathing slowly
- falling asleep in big t-shirts and underwear
- forehead kissies and murmured affections
- MONSTER TRUCKS
Sex is not a goddamn performance. Sex should feel as natural as drinking water. It should not require confidence.
Sex should happen, because the moment is ripe. Ripening lips, ripening labia, ripening cock, ripening pupils, ripening state of being. Ripe and augmented and brimming. Your energy goes to your pumping heart, then to every external nerve, then to theirs, on fire.
You bask, roll, play in it. You sigh, moan, laugh. It’s not about being “good in bed.” It’s about being happy.
One should never worry if they’re doing it “correctly.” Sex is not factual. I don’t want your cookie-cutter sex, I don’t want your meticulously crafted, calculated, fool-proof fuck. I don’t want a show. I want you. Let your instincts, urges and whims define that. It’s enough.
What do most girls like? Forget about it. Statistics are meaningless when there’s only one. Hello, here’s me. Here’s you. Don’t worry about taking it too slow. We got time. We got infinite rhythms, combinations, possibilities. Explore each fuck. Take our time. We can do a different one later.
Don’t worry about making me come. I’m here. Right where I want to be. I am overwhelmed by wanting; you don’t have to convince me. I want you because I like you. So don’t put on a front. Don’t taint this.
I’m frustrated—it’s just authenticity I want. It’s originality. It’s passion. It’s joy. Don’t say that something I like is ugly. Don’t compare yourself to the rest. You will live and die with and within your experiences like everyone else. If someone thinks you are amazing, they are not wrong. Their universe is as real as any other; it is forged through perception.
I don’t care if you accidentally slammed my head into the wall, if you slipped out, if my arm cracked, if the delightful pressure of your wet lips on my anything made a silly sound. There is no right way and no wrong way.
“Good in bed,” what. You’re good in my bed. I’m pleased you’re there. I feel it suits you. Shove your technique. Let your memory swallow it. Fuck me like you’d fuck me, fuck me like you feel. This isn’t a test.
Olivia, my eldest daughter, caught measles when she was seven years old. As the illness took its usual course I can remember reading to her often in bed and not feeling particularly alarmed about it. Then one morning, when she was well on the road to recovery, I was sitting on her bed showing her how to fashion little animals out of coloured pipe-cleaners, and when it came to her turn to make one herself, I noticed that her fingers and her mind were not working together and she couldn’t do anything.
“Are you feeling all right?” I asked her.
“I feel all sleepy, ” she said.
In an hour, she was unconscious. In twelve hours she was dead.
The measles had turned into a terrible thing called measles encephalitis and there was nothing the doctors could do to save her.
That was twenty-four years ago in 1962, but even now, if a child with measles happens to develop the same deadly reaction from measles as Olivia did, there would still be nothing the doctors could do to help her.
On the other hand, there is today something that parents can do to make sure that this sort of tragedy does not happen to a child of theirs. They can insist that their child is immunised against measles. I was unable to do that for Olivia in 1962 because in those days a reliable measles vaccine had not been discovered. Today a good and safe vaccine is available to every family and all you have to do is to ask your doctor to administer it.
It is not yet generally accepted that measles can be a dangerous illness.
Believe me, it is. In my opinion parents who now refuse to have their children immunised are putting the lives of those children at risk.
In America, where measles immunisation is compulsory, measles like smallpox, has been virtually wiped out.
Here in Britain, because so many parents refuse, either out of obstinacy or ignorance or fear, to allow their children to be immunised, we still have a hundred thousand cases of measles every year.
Out of those, more than 10,000 will suffer side effects of one kind or another.
At least 10,000 will develop ear or chest infections.
About 20 will die.
LET THAT SINK IN.
Every year around 20 children will die in Britain from measles.
So what about the risks that your children will run from being immunised?
They are almost non-existent. Listen to this. In a district of around 300,000 people, there will be only one child every 250 years who will develop serious side effects from measles immunisation! That is about a million to one chance. I should think there would be more chance of your child choking to death on a chocolate bar than of becoming seriously ill from a measles immunisation.
So what on earth are you worrying about?
It really is almost a crime to allow your child to go unimmunised.
Roald Dahl, 1986
NINETEEN EIGHTY SIX.
roald dahl was calling out the anti-vaccination movement as self indulgent bullshit //thirty god damn years ago//.
And this is only in recent history. I can’t imagine the numbers if we had data all the way back to 1986.
And thanks to anti-vaxxers, measles is back in the United States.
A good take on a wonderful tune
Cheer up, Charlie
Give me a smile
What happened to the smile I used to know
Don’t you know your grin has always
Been my sunshine;
Let that sunshine show…
Some day, sweet as a song
Charlie’s lucky day will come along
Till that day
You’ve got to stay strong Charlie
Up on top is right where you belong